addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
I think my vagina is haunted
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
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