Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
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