I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
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