$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
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