I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
Randomize
