Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
Randomize
