IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
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