I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
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