from now on my penis is your penis
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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