question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
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