Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
Randomize
