just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
