Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
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