she kept yelling 'call me bella'
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
Randomize
