Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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