I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
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