I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
Randomize
