How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
Randomize
