If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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