10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
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