According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
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