She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
Randomize
