Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
