I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
Randomize
