Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
