will power is for people who don't want to get laid
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Randomize
