I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
Randomize
