So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
