So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
Randomize
