covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
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