batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Randomize
