I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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