So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
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He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
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The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
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