Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
Randomize
