is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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