Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
Randomize
