yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
We're not piercing ourselves today.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
Randomize
