I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Randomize
