how hairy? two words: wookie tits
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Randomize
