I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
Dicks are not precious.
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
Randomize
