I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
