she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
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