I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
Randomize
