I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
