It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
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