Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
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