Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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