smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
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