Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
Randomize
