I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
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