I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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