just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
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I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
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