Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
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