is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
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