My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
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Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
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Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
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