It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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