Are we in a gay sports bar?
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
Randomize