Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
dude. I can hear the air.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
Randomize
