My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize