Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
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