he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Randomize
