I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
Randomize
