yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
Randomize
