I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
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I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
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