He disabled his match.com account in front of me
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
Randomize
